The Other A.I. 🤔

What are we going to do about it?

The Other A.I.

Our phones have practically become as extension of our bodies. At their best, they help us stay connected, and at their worst, they’re third-wheeling our family dinners as we sneak glances at our notifications. We all know it’s not the phones –it’s social media that keeps us hooked, compelling us to compare ourselves to strangers with fake lives, and giving us the illusion of real connection.

In a recent episode of the podcast “Unlocking Us”, Dr. Esther Perel mentions the term A.I. during an interview with Dr. Brené Brown during SXSW, and it deeply resonated with me. This isn’t the futuristic A.I. that makes us wonder if our jobs are safe from robots. No, she is talking about Artificial Intimacy. Dr. Perel says “I can have 1,000 virtual friends, but nobody to feed my cat, nobody to ask to go and pick up a prescription at the pharmacy, but 1,000 people who are giving me likes and dislikes, and all kinds of things that are now becoming the foundation of my self-esteem. And that’s a different kind of loneliness. It’s not about being physically alone, it’s about being misunderstood, unseen, rejected, ostracized, all of that.”

Have you experienced a moment when you're pouring your heart out, only to realize your friend is scrolling? They are physically but not emotionally present. Talk about lonely. We’ve perfected the art of being everywhere and nowhere at once, and nobody is happier for it. So, what are we going to do to make our lives less dependent on digital validation and more grounded in genuine connection? The antidote to this digital insanity is community and real human interaction—the messy kind, not the perfectly staged brunch pic for Instagram. What matters is showing up, engaging, and being present.

So as summer comes to an end and we return to our regularly scheduled chaos, I am trying to hold on to the real connections I’ve made with my kids and friends over the summer, and I hope you do too. Here are a few ideas I’m toying with for establishing more meaningful relationships, no phone required: