Friends: Mission Impossible? 😬

True Galentines and Valentines

I recently reconnected with very close friends I had not seen since 2018, and it was so, so good. And while I loved seeing them, our reunion made me wonder if we would ever be friends if we met today (we met waaaaay back when we were in college). After I learned from a study that it takes a solid 50 hours of interaction to go from acquaintances to casual friends, and another 200 hours of shared experiences, vulnerability, and emotional intimacy to get into the deeper friendship zone, I think it’s safe to say that we just wouldn't have the time to be this close.

Maybe this is why so many of us have such a hard time making friends as adults – who is willing to risk all these hours on a potential friend with our time-starved lives? The false sense of connection with our online “friends” makes us complacent too, yet we know that most of our online relationships lack honesty and realness. We have thousands of digital likes and “friends”, but very little real love and support. 

Throw in some tricky dynamics in our existing relationships, real-life traumas, hang-ups and hurdles like racism and economic disparities, the rollercoaster of life’s success and failures, and making new friends as an adult seems like mission impossible. And yet, I’m here to advocate for a friendship revolution—one built on truth, authenticity, depth and - gasp - effort!